"Now this is an educational institution, and, in theory, this is where we get to try out our theories, so let's go down this path for a moment before we determine my premise is totally whacked," I continued.

"Assume that spirituality is on a linear scale and on one side we have God, Divinity, Higher Power, Source, etc. and on the other side we have the complete opposite: Evil, Non-Godness, Void, etc. Suspending labels, what is it that this Non-God side wants from us once they've beaten us over the head and taken it? Typically, they want the best food, the best clothes, the best parties, the best wine, the best sex, the best friends...which sounds a lot like hospitality to me, so I say, 'Give it to 'em and charge 'em five star prices."

There was great laughter in the room, and we enjoyed a robust discussion about tourism's divine role to serve.

I share this because many times when presenting creative works we are shot down, and it is easy to assume that the opposition is against us. I would argue that even in rejection, we are being served, as it helps us to dig deeper and refine our thoughts and plans.

Concepts of selfishness exhibited by others, especially in opposition, have been something that has intrigued me greatly. Once I had a professor who advocated that the reason for the success of the United States was due, in part, to selfishness. "Each side makes sure that nobody else gets more than what they are entitled to and it is this selfishness which creates the balance," he proposed.

Later, I encountered another professor who advocated that much of the great technical progress can be attributed to human selfishness, specifically, human sexuality. He substantiated his theory by pointing to several items, including the naming of America.

Apparently, Amerigo Vespucci, an Italian navigator, created quite the stir in Europe with his soft-porn-like accounts of natives running around naked and thus heightening intrigue for the Western hemisphere.

This same professor asked us to consider why the VHS tape won out over Sony's BETA format, since BETA was superior technology. His theory was that even though the majority of Americans would proclaim Victorian-like principles in public, they actually voted with their dollars in video rental establishments for sexy VHS tapes. Apparently, Sony required licensing for use of its BETA tapes, while VHS was an open standard and free. Thus, when pornographers had to decide which way to go for distribution, they choose the free VHS format even though it was inferior. In the end, the consumer dollars decided the vote despite the rhetoric.

Before I entered into the digital realm as a full-time e.director/producer, it was interesting attending some of the Internet tradeshows in the Boston and New York markets during 1994 and 1995. It was a time when many were skeptical as to whether or not this Web thing was real, let alone how to make any money at it. When visiting tradeshow booths and inquiring about examples of their technology being used profitably, I would get some funny answers. Several times, booth people would say to me, "Come over here to the side and I'll tell you the official party line, as well as off-the-record accounts about the online porn folks." In fact, some argued that the majority of America Online's (AOL's) success was due to its fostering sexually curious connections. Whatever.

On a current note, during a dinner party attendance, I had a conversation with a credit card executive who supported the notion that rogue selfishness can advance society. I asked this gentleman, "Why is it that Smart Card technology hasn't taken off in the US?" His response, "There hasn't been enough crime."

Apparently, when a credit card is stolen, thousands of copies can be made by counterfeiters, each of which holds untold liability for the card's issuing bank. My dinner friend went on to explain how this was a serious issue in France until the adoption of Smart Cards, where a computer chip is inserted into the card thus making it much more difficult to counterfeit. The counterfeiters then left France and went to England. Guess which was his second largest customer base. It seems that now the counterfeiters are leaving Europe and setting up in South America, which is also now an expanding territory for Smart Card salespeople.

Now I'm not endorsing immoral behavior, shortcuts and/or thugs of any sort. What I am saying is that opposition forces us to get stronger, to get better and to advance.

In auditing they taught us, "the person who leaves a dollar on the table is just as guilty as the person who picks it up." The theory being that it is only a matter of time before one is tempted to reach down and put the buck in their pocket. Some will walk by and instantly say, "Ah, opportunity. My lucky day." Another will walk by ten times and say, "Well no one has claimed it so I might as well." Still another might pass it a thousand times before pocketing it. The point is, it is our responsibility to improve and the opposition highlights the opportunities.

Now I know that some may be saying I'm totally off base since I am not factoring into account principles like justice, and perhaps they are right. Yet, I remember reading a story about justice in an Asian country which was quite different from the quick-to-litigate country I reside in. Apparently, when a person has been severely wronged in this Asian country, they make an appointment with their wrongdoer, which the wrongdoer honors. The wronged person shows up for the appointment and they both bow. Then the wronged person screams at the wrongdoer as loud as they want, for as long as they want. When done, they both bow to each other, and then move on.

Again, I am not advocating Darwinian behavior; I'm merely showing that, ultimately, it is our responsibility to use opposition as opportunities to get stronger. This also does not mean advocating rolling over and not honoring our own needs for wholeness.

Years ago I was driving over one of the New York bridges into Long Island for an appointment on a late Friday afternoon. If you've ever tried to get out of New York city on a summer's Friday, then you can imagine the scene at the bridge's toll booths. A sheer parking lot. Lanes and lanes packed tightly over steaming hot pavement and the fierce sun's beating heat only slightly cooler than the barely contained road rage dwelling in many of the drivers. To my right was a Cadillac El Dorado driven by an extremely intense individual with short woven hair and a chest the size of his car's hood. As all of our cars edged closer to the booths in funnel-like formation, jockeying for lane position became paramount. All of a sudden, this individual hit his gas pedal and leaped past the nose of my car, scraping my passenger-side mirror with his driver-side mirror.

I managed to get my car into a parallel lane and pulled up next to him. I opened the passenger window, and he opened his driver-side window. Before I could get any words out, he started yelling at me like a crazy man, including threatening to kill. I proceeded to roll up my window and fume in silence.

Certainly I wasn't interested in getting killed, but I wasn't whole. This man hit my car and now had copped an attitude. My brain raced for options. I had no camera, no tape recorder to come to my aid in documenting evidence. I had just listened to Tony Robbins and his thoughts about the importance of asking the right questions.

"How do I resolve this NOW without risking death," I shouted out. Then as if the Universe whispered in my ears, the idea occurred to me that the guys in the toll booths carry badges and guns. And so my plan took shape.

I waited until the both of us were about four cars from the toll booth. I then hopped out, ran up to a booth and said, "That guy hit me and threatened to kill me." With that two cops started to move in my direction, and the cars behind my nonmoving car were starting to honk their horns. Then, several cars behind mine, two guys were getting out of their cars and looked like they were about ready to square off. The site was bordering on explosive. At this point, all the toll guys were now out of their booths yelling for everybody to get back in their cars or get arrested. Then they turned to me as I still stood there. The guy in the El Dorado was now saying, "Come on buddy, lets go over to the side and I'll take care of you."

The police asked me to explain what happened and so I repeated the story. I confessed that I didn't need to make a big deal out of nothing and wasn't even sure of the damage, so I went around and looked at my mirror which was only scratched.

"Okay buddy," one of the cops said to me. "What do you want us to do?"

"Tell him to say he's sorry," I stated.

Total disbelief all the way around. The Cadillac dude says, "I'm sorry," and part of me wanted to say, "Say it like you mean it," but I opted not to push it. I turned to the assembled audience and said, "Hey, I started to approach you with honor but you slammed me. We certainly don't need to make a big deal out of nothing, but threatening to kill is not nothing. Next time think again. Let's call it a day." And with that the cops shrugged their shoulders, chuckled and we all got back in our respective cars and booths.

As I paid my toll and proceeded across the bridge, my opponent had pulled off to the side and was shaking in disbelief. I could almost hear him saying to his wife who sat next to him, "Can you believe that, all that dude wanted was for me to say I'm sorry." But for me, a lesson in community harmonics traded for a scratch was worth it and helped me to feel whole.

My point is, no matter what situation we find ourselves in, we can find a way to make it work for us. Although, perhaps one would argue that this road rage example is trivial compared to great tragedies.

While writing this chapter I had the fortune of being invited to the gallery opening for Liberated Voices, Contemporary Art from South Africa at the Museum for African Art in Manhattan.

"What do you know of atrocity, genocide or torture?" one video exhibit beckoned. It stopped me cold as I contemplated my thesis about opposition in the light of brutal tortures, genocidal killings, and sanctioned violence in all manners of disgusting sorts. I suspected that the spirits of these dead people, like the innocent nuns who had been brutally raped, tortured and killed, would "bitch slap" me in disgust with my thesis about opposition serving, written from the comfort of a climate-controlled condo.

Yet I wanted to believe, even if not in our lifetimes, that somehow these great tragedies could be used as fertilizers to help human beings dig deeper and develop better social frameworks.

There was a wall of interactive exhibits which portrayed both victims and/or family members shown next to their attackers and/or those officials responsible for the deaths. Slogans and/or words taken from official records were overlaid in sliding tracks over a blurry haze of the victim/attacker images. I sought out the artist to get her comments about opposition and creativity.

"Yes, I believe you are right that opposition forces roots. Our country is barren of artistic supportive programs and outlets, as in softer countries like Sweden," she said. "We have no real grant programs and no real sales outlets for our works, so those who engage in creative expressions are really doing so because they really want to."

This same woman went on to recount a recent study she had read about creativity with children coming from soft versus hard environments. "It was previously thought that those children who grew up in safe, secure, nurturing environments were the ones who would be the most free to create, but apparently the reverse turns out to be true." I responded by sharing, "Yes, we see this in business too. Those who rise to the top are often those who started with little, and this lack creates the drive to overcome."

Which brings me back to the Yankee wisdom in which I robustly subscribe: "Necessity is the mother of invention."

Perhaps stated in binomial terms, to the degree we are opposed is to the degree greatness of invention will spring.

Consider this quote attributed to Orson Wells: "In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, murder, terror, bloodshed - they produced Michaelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!"

And then there is this quote from Martin Luther King Jr., "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

Viva the creative "Tiggers" at heart! (see friends of Winnie-the-Pooh)   top